When it comes to engagement rings and wedding bands, tradition has long dictated the "rules" of what they should look like and how they should be worn. But as relationships evolve, so too do these conventions. Today’s couples are embracing the freedom to rewrite the rules and create a ring experience that reflects their unique love story. Here’s a guide to some of the traditional “rules” for engagement rings and wedding bands—and how you can choose to follow, adapt, or break them entirely.

Rule #1: The Engagement Ring Should Be a Surprise

Traditionally, proposals have been planned as complete surprises, with the engagement ring unveiled only at the magical moment. While this classic approach still holds its charm, many modern couples prefer to shop for the ring together. Doing so ensures the ring reflects the recipient’s unique taste and style, making it even more special. Some even take it a step further by designing custom rings as a team, creating a one-of-a-kind symbol of their love.

For inspiration on keeping the proposal enchanting, explore our Ultimate Winter Proposal Spots in Kelowna: Where Love and Snowflakes Meet.

Rule #2: Men Should Buy the Engagement Ring

Historically, the expectation was that men would purchase the engagement ring on their own. However, this tradition is increasingly giving way to a more collaborative approach. Many couples now decide on a budget together or split the cost. This modern take not only reduces financial stress but also ensures the ring is a meaningful and mutually agreed-upon choice.

Learn more about how to budget for your dream custom engagement ring here

Rule #3: Engagement Rings Are Only for Women

Gone are the days when only women wore engagement rings. Many men now choose to wear rings as well, signifying their commitment during the engagement period. This trend reflects a shared experience, highlighting equality in the journey toward marriage.

Discover insights on this evolving tradition in our Engagement Ring Etiquette: Who Pays In 2023? Blog.

Rule #4: Engagement Rings Should Cost Three Months’ Salary

The “three months’ salary” rule is rooted in old marketing campaigns and doesn’t resonate with every couple. Today, it’s all about finding a ring that symbolizes your love and fits your financial comfort zone. Whether it’s a simple band or a more extravagant piece, what matters is the sentiment behind the choice.

For advice on choosing a ring that balances quality and affordability, visit our How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring in 2024 guide.

Rule #5: Diamonds Are the Only Option for Engagement Rings

While diamonds are a classic choice, alternative gemstones like sapphires, emeralds, or morganite are increasingly popular. These stones offer unique beauty and personal meaning, allowing couples to create rings that reflect their individuality.

Explore the beauty of gemstone options in our Beyond Diamonds: Exploring Alternative Gemstones for Engagement Rings blog.

Rule #6: Rings Must Be Worn on the Left-Hand Ring Finger

The tradition of wearing rings on the left-hand ring finger comes from an ancient belief in the “vein of love” leading to the heart. Today, couples choose the placement that feels most comfortable and significant to them, whether that’s the left hand, right hand, or even a different finger altogether.

Learn about various cultural practices and personal preferences in our Engagement Ring vs. Wedding Ring: What's the Difference? article.

Rule #7: Only Men Propose

Historically, men were expected to initiate the proposal. However, in modern relationships, anyone can propose, regardless of gender. What matters most is the expression of love and the desire to spend a lifetime together.

For creative proposal ideas, check out our 10 Enchanting and Unique Marriage Proposal Ideas.

Rule #8: The Wedding Ring Must Be Purchased After the Engagement Ring

Traditionally, the wedding ring is purchased after the engagement ring. However, some couples choose to buy both rings together to ensure they match perfectly or to take advantage of buying a bridal set. This approach can also simplify the ring selection process, allowing both rings to be a cohesive set from the start.

For guidance on selecting complementary rings, read our Everything You Need to Know About Engagement Ring Styles.

Rule #9: You Need Both an Engagement Ring and a Wedding Ring

While having both an engagement ring and a wedding ring is customary, some couples opt for just one ring that serves both purposes. This minimalist approach can be practical and cost-effective. A single ring can still hold profound meaning and represent the couple’s commitment just as powerfully as two separate rings.

Understand the differences and make an informed choice by reading our Engagement Ring vs. Wedding Ring: What's the Difference? blog.

Rule #10: Engagement Ring and Wedding Ring Gemstones Should Match

Matching gemstones in engagement and wedding rings is traditional but not necessary. Some couples prefer a mix of stones, such as a diamond engagement ring paired with a sapphire wedding band. This allows for greater personalization and can create a unique set that reflects the couple’s individual style.

Explore various gemstone combinations in our Beyond Diamonds: Exploring Alternative Gemstones for Engagement Rings article.

Rule #11: Engagement Rings and Wedding Rings Should Be the Same Metal

Traditionally, both rings are made from the same metal, but they don’t have to be. Combining different metals, such as pairing a platinum engagement ring with a gold wedding band, can create a distinctive look. This mix-and-match approach allows for greater flexibility in design and can make each ring stand out on its own.

Learn about different metal options and how to pair them in our Everything You Need to Know About Engagement Ring Styles.

Rule #12: Partners’ Rings Should Match

It’s common for couples to choose rings that match in style or design, but there is no requirement for spouses’ rings to match exactly. Each partner can choose a ring that reflects their personal style and comfort. This individualism in ring selection respects the unique tastes of both partners while still symbolizing their union.

Find inspiration for unique ring styles in our Custom Engagement Rings: Turning Your Vision Into Reality

Making the Rules Work for You

While traditions offer a foundation, your engagement and wedding rings should ultimately reflect your unique relationship. Whether you choose to follow, adapt, or completely break these “rules,” the most important thing is that your rings tell your story. At Perrara, we’re here to help you explore options that feel right for you, ensuring your rings become cherished symbols of your love.

Discover Your Perfect Rings at Perrara

At Perrara, we believe in creating rings as unique as your love. Whether you’re looking for a classic design or something entirely unconventional, our expert team is here to help you find or design the perfect pieces. Visit us to explore our collection and start your journey today.

With Love, Perrara